Sunday, January 5, 2020

Dealing with UGhghr

Well, now that we are fresh into 2020, I have decided to set a couple of goals for the New Year.   But behind these specific goals, there is a common theme: dealing with that "UGhghr" feeling when dealing with something I don't want to deal with.  Maybe dissecting what is going on here can help see what is going on and thus help me work through it by mindfully experiencing it and I observe it happen.  So here goes nothing.

First, let's examine "UGHghr".  I didn't really know what to type so I just started with "UGH" (yes the noise) and then added a couple more lower case letters for flair.  But I think overall it comes to not knowing how to do something along with fear of the unknown, and perhaps a little lack of motivation mixed in.  There are things that are long overdue to take care of but they just kept on floating around.  The natural thing I unconsciously did was kept on kicking the can down the street so I could remain in the bliss of not dealing with whatever it is.

The challenge is that not dealing with these things was a choice.  To defer just pushes the same choice: to deal with now or later, and if you choose later, then you have to choose now and later again.  This recursive loop starts to build up background dissatisfaction.  The feeling to just take care of the damn thing builds and builds.  

So now you, as the reader are wondering, what the hell is he talking about?  What does he keep pushing off?  Well, the answer is rather boring things.  I need to consolidate my 401Ks, probably have a will written up at some point, and my office was in bad need of some updates (tiny monitor, etc).

But here is the thing--when I am done taking care of whatever the "UGHghr" thing is: PURE MAGIC.  It feels sooooo good, like scratching an itch that has been bothering you for so long.  For example, with the holiday time off, I cleaned the garage and the laundry room.  The bad need for sweeping, the blockade of debris blocking the tool wire wrack, and the disarray of snowboarding and split boarding gear are now clean and every time I pass it I have this "AHHHHH" feeling.

So, with those things said, and a tangible 2020 to-do list on my whiteboard, fingers are extra double and triple crossed that I can make it through and get rid of every single last UGHGHRHGRHGHR thing this year.

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